Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize