puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize