I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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