I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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