My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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