Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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