She said her name was "party"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
