I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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