Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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