: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize