That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
