you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
