Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
