Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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