I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
