these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
