marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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