went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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