youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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