We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
