Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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