sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
