I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
