Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
