yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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