Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
