Sry I called you an 8
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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