maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
