Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
