She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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