i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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