I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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