He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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