yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
