I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize