It was confusing and full of hummus
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize