walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
