so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
