I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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