I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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