dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
