o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
