Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
