Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
