Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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