white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
