i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
