forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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