Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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