i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Small penises have feelings too.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
