this boner is exhausting
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
