I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
