so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
