Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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