I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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