Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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