and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize