Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
